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In a hotel in Tokyo: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notis.

In a hotel in Berlin: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a hotel apposite a Russian orthodox nunnery in Moscow: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In front of a dress shop in Paris: Dresses for street walking.

In a tailors shop in Rhodesia: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In the window of a Swedish fur shop: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

In a ticket office at Copenhagen airport: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In an acute reception in Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.

On a sign in the Schwarzwald, Germany: It is strictly forbidden on our camping site that people of different sex, for instance men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Japanese instruction book on how the hotel air conditioning works: "Cooles and Heates if you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself".

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