NOTICE TO AIR TRAVELLERS

The following blacklisted airports should not be used by those of a nervous disposition:

TOURNIQUET (Mal de Mer) Holding apron subject to subsidence.

NEUROSIS (Anglepoise Archipelago) Windsock out of service.

BLOT (Damnation Coast) Hepatitis rife in duty free area.

DOMESTOS (Espadrille) Separatist air controller on strike.

CATARRH (Baksheesh Peninsula) Departure lounge under fire.

DIAGNOSIS (Thermos Islands) Air misses twice daily.

SHUFTI (Mufti Mountains) Lavatories occupied by guerrillas.